I want to talk to you today about the ‘Energy-of-Love’ versus the ‘Emotion-of-Love’.
Let's start with the ‘Emotion-of-Love’.
The ‘Emotion-of-Love’ is super heartfelt. It's the kind of love that you would know because it's the way you feel about your family members, your children, your spouse (if you have one). It’s the love you have for your best friends.
This is the type of love that when you're in a relationship, you go the distance. It's kind of karmic too... You know that you are going to do your work, be self-reflective, say you’re sorry. It’s a love you don’t easily give up on. It's kind of like a contract.
Now the ‘Energy-of-Love’ in its most simplest terms is very Universal. Unlike the ‘Emotion-of-Love’ where it actually resources energy from your body. The ‘Energy of Love' draws from the earth, the air-ways, nature, Source, God, the Divine - that thing that’s sacred and way bigger than you. The ‘Energy of Love’ is effortless, it belongs to everyone and anyone can draw on it whenever the mood strikes them. It’s not draining, it’s not complicated. It’s who we all are naturally when we aren’t busy critiquing and judging. It’s the smile you give to a stranger to help their day be better. It's the compliment you give to someone at the grocery store when you say “gosh your eyes are beautiful”.
I think it’s also the most appropriate love to express and play with when you're dating. The 'Energy of Love' is when you 'LIKE' someone alot but it's before you're willing to sign that ‘emotional love contract’ that promises “I am really going to go far with you. In fact, I like you so much, I’m willing to meet your parents and even go to therapy!!”
Remember, the 'Emotion-of-Love' is a committed kind of love and I think it’s a mistake that a lot of single people make early while dating. Many singles jump all-in, too soon! They don't double check.... is this person feeling the same way I'm feeling? Are we on the same track? Are we going at the same pace?
For most people the ‘Emotion-of-Love’ throws opens its doors and says, ‘okay ready or not, I'm putting you in my heart.’ This used to sneak up on me... I'd be dating someone and there would be a pesky room in my heart that would kind of crack open and go... “Oooh, I want to put you there.” (But are you ready to be there?)
After being crushed a few times (because yet again, he wasn’t ready), I learned to be transparent about those feelings arising when I was ready to go deeper and hoping they felt the same way… I began to ask... “... is this working for ya? Are we going somewhere? Are we ready to start considering being more serious? Because I want to make sure that we’re going at the same pace? This ‘Emotion-of-Love’ door is starting to open, but I'm not going to put you there, unless you're ready... unless that door is opening for you too?”
If I discovered they were not moving at the same speed as me, I’d reply with something like…”if we're not at the same pace, it's okay. I’ll just gently close that door. I'm not closing myself off. But I’m also not willing to put anyone in that deep without permission. (Out of respect for myself, thank you very much). In the meantime, I'll keep fountaining the ‘Energy-of-Love’ to you. I'll keep receiving the ‘Energy-of-Love’ from you, and I'll wisely pace myself.”
Being the fast learner that I am, I’m going to continue to protect myself, (my mama didn't raise no fool). But I am also going to be mindful that I don't wall myself off. I'm not going to put myself at risk of getting hurt. And that doesn’t mean that I don't love, it's just means that I am aware of the difference between the two.
So how do you really do this?
Well, if you're being sexual with someone your brain is being flooded with hormones and those hormones are trying to convince you that you are in the ‘Emotion-of-Love’. But...my friends... you are not... you are under the influence of a very powerful cocktail, and that cocktail is made up of testosterone which gives you that drive. It makes you want to tear each others clothes off. It is flooding you with oxytocin… Ooooo it’s that bonding chemical! It's giving you hits of dopamine and opioids which is well-being and it's Bliss and it's bringing out the best in you and the best in them.
But... don't be confused, that is NOT the ‘Emotion-of-Love’, my beloveds, that could be simply the ‘Energy-of-Love’ wanting to seduce you into believing it’s the ‘Emotion-of-Love’.
But buyer beware...
Keep that heart close to you and make a conscious choice to dive into the ‘Emotion’ or to stay in the ‘Energy’.
👋 Love Love Love. This is Leah, with More Love Works... till next time! www.morelovementor.com